I can't believe you just said that !!!

I have been to a few churches and I have listened to sermons from various pastors. One thing that I have noticed is that they are human, just like us. And we are reminded of this fact if we LISTEN closely.

I am all for a good joke, but who determines if a joke is funny? In any social setting, it can become very uncomfortable when a joke is made at someone else's expense. Most people would take offense along with the subject of the punch line. This can happen while hanging out with friends or perhaps at work. But what do we do if or when you become someone's punch line at church?

I have mentioned before about the lack of confidentiality and privacy in our society today. As a Christian woman, I expected to find solitude at a church in knowing that what I say to these people in confidence would remain confidential.

I had one incident where a pastor stood up in church one Sunday morning and said that " Latoya left her job at the hospital to do dishes at home". Now mind you, this was in the middle of my darkest and most depressed days. That was a very sensitive time for me and I had confided in that woman about what was hurting me and she violated my trust. That left a deep scar for a long time, but I eventually forgave her.

The reason I mention this is because sometimes as Christians we feel so alone in our hurt. We can't tell non-Christians because of the misconception that our lives are perfect. We can't tell Christians because they'll assume you are sinning or some ridiculous nonsense.

I have seen first-hand people being insulted or having their personal business told from the pulpit by a pastor they trusted. Yes, we can tell a story to inspire someone else once the issue was resolved. But it is a basic human principle to get that person's permission before divulging their information.

That brings me to the jokes. As I've said I'm all for a good clean joke. But it's not funny when a pastor, leader or elder stands on a pulpit and make fat jokes about one man. It's not funny making jokes about the type of car a person drives or where they live.

Why would anyone, let alone a preacher think that is funny or okay to do? What purpose does this serve? When we embarrass others for a laugh, all we do is enjoy a moment of false superiority while making ourselves look really bad in the eyes of others.

Not to mention the erosion we are causing to that person's ego and self-esteem. We all hurt and the world is already such a cruel and ugly place. We should feel safe physically, spiritually and mentally at church. Then we wonder why people backslide.

I think many of our pastors and leaders need to self-evaluate. Check the manner in which you respond to us. Would you like someone talking to you that way? Remember, no one is a light unto himself, not even the sun.

Stay humble and keep it about God. We're trying to save souls not run people out of a church.

I pray that we as Christians will wake up and help our ministers when we see or hear them say something offensive to our brothers and sisters in Christ.

May God bless you and thank you so much for reading. Feel free to check out more of my experiences in my E-books. Like, share and Comment.

Until next time
BE KIND.
Latoya.

Who will advocate for the nurses?

I sat in the front passenger seat as I was being driven to my destination. I was looking out the car window at the people. Some in their cars, some in their yards, others waiting for transportation. One thing crossed my mind as I watched these people. I wanted to know their story. Why were they out today? What was their home life like? Were they happy? Did they have the money they needed to pay their bills? 

So many people walk around depressed and frustrated, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.  I know I did before I decided to ask for help. 

This brings an old saying to mind "you can't judge a book by its cover".

When law enforcement officers are involved in a shooting incident, they are offered emotional support in the form of a department therapist. As a registered nurse, we see people on some of the worst days of their lives. We see body parts missing, we see gunshot injuries, we deal with dead bodies, we see people who tried to take their own lives, we see it all yet we do not flinch. 

Some people may say we knew what we signed up for. Of course, I won't dispute that fact. But just like being on the front lines of a war. Nurses and doctors are on the front lines of our hospitals, but when the emergency is over and when the screaming stops. Who is there to offer us a listening ear? 

Nurses in Trinidad and Tobago, we have NO ONE!

I can't speak for other countries. But I can tell you, I have had many days where I felt like I didn't know myself anymore. We are trained to deal with the life-threatening situation. We throw all our emotions out the window. We have to be a mom, a dad,  a caregiver, a social worker, a secretary, a miracle worker and a police officer all at the same time. 

There is no room to feel anything and sometimes this may come across as heartless or cold to our patients. But we were trained to be robots. It's as if you are not allowed to feel anything and if you do, you just have to bury it and move on. Nurses are patient advocates. But I ask, who will advocate for the nurses.

The culture of our hospital environment: -  when a staff member has an issue in one department, by lunchtime you can bet almost all departments are aware of it. We were trained to observe the golden rule of confidentiality, yet conveniently we forget.

I have NEVER seen or heard from or been told how to access the Employee Assistance Program. Even then, with the environmental culture who would want to? I remember when I first started realizing that something was wrong with me. I made an effort to meet with the matron at the San Fernando General Hospital, where I worked. Only to be interrogated by a senior member of her staff as to what I needed to talk to her about. 

If this is what we as nurses are met with when we are asking for help. Then we can only expect to see an increase in the number of suicides and suicide attempts among registered nurses and nursing students in Trinidad and Tobago.

I have worked with one nurse in particular who was one of the nicest people I have ever met. She always had a smile on her face and a pleasant personality. I was only a student nurse when I met her. Imagine my horror when two years later I heard she took her own life.

This is the sad reality faced by many professionals. But as an RN, I am crying out for help for myself and my colleagues. I have lost a lot due to depression and anxiety. Thank God that by his grace,  thoughts of suicide never crossed my mind. Not all are so lucky.

It seems as of late, the cries of everyone in Trinidad and Tobago are falling on deaf ears. May God help us all. And may God help all the nurses out there who are in desperate need of help. 

- Latoya

The story continues

I am just one person. I have no special powers. I am not rich. I am not like the others. I can't seem to find anyone else like me.

As long as I have known myself,  I have been struggling. I have been struggling and I have been praying.

I know there is a God. I know he can hear me. But sometimes it feels like he doesn't hear me.

Does that make sense? Does anything make sense? I picture my life like a movie. But every time I think the facade is over and I can start living something happens.

I don't think I have known true happiness. I have smiled and felt love. But I never had that true, genuine happiness.

I am on this ride called my life. I don't know when and where it will end. I just want to scenery to change. I won't mind a companion along the way.

But though I am sad, I remain hopeful. Hopeful that one day, the prayer I have been praying will be answered.

Until then, this broken heart patiently awaits.

The story continues.......