Who will advocate for the nurses?

I sat in the front passenger seat as I was being driven to my destination. I was looking out the car window at the people. Some in their cars, some in their yards, others waiting for transportation. One thing crossed my mind as I watched these people. I wanted to know their story. Why were they out today? What was their home life like? Were they happy? Did they have the money they needed to pay their bills? 

So many people walk around depressed and frustrated, carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.  I know I did before I decided to ask for help. 

This brings an old saying to mind "you can't judge a book by its cover".

When law enforcement officers are involved in a shooting incident, they are offered emotional support in the form of a department therapist. As a registered nurse, we see people on some of the worst days of their lives. We see body parts missing, we see gunshot injuries, we deal with dead bodies, we see people who tried to take their own lives, we see it all yet we do not flinch. 

Some people may say we knew what we signed up for. Of course, I won't dispute that fact. But just like being on the front lines of a war. Nurses and doctors are on the front lines of our hospitals, but when the emergency is over and when the screaming stops. Who is there to offer us a listening ear? 

Nurses in Trinidad and Tobago, we have NO ONE!

I can't speak for other countries. But I can tell you, I have had many days where I felt like I didn't know myself anymore. We are trained to deal with the life-threatening situation. We throw all our emotions out the window. We have to be a mom, a dad,  a caregiver, a social worker, a secretary, a miracle worker and a police officer all at the same time. 

There is no room to feel anything and sometimes this may come across as heartless or cold to our patients. But we were trained to be robots. It's as if you are not allowed to feel anything and if you do, you just have to bury it and move on. Nurses are patient advocates. But I ask, who will advocate for the nurses.

The culture of our hospital environment: -  when a staff member has an issue in one department, by lunchtime you can bet almost all departments are aware of it. We were trained to observe the golden rule of confidentiality, yet conveniently we forget.

I have NEVER seen or heard from or been told how to access the Employee Assistance Program. Even then, with the environmental culture who would want to? I remember when I first started realizing that something was wrong with me. I made an effort to meet with the matron at the San Fernando General Hospital, where I worked. Only to be interrogated by a senior member of her staff as to what I needed to talk to her about. 

If this is what we as nurses are met with when we are asking for help. Then we can only expect to see an increase in the number of suicides and suicide attempts among registered nurses and nursing students in Trinidad and Tobago.

I have worked with one nurse in particular who was one of the nicest people I have ever met. She always had a smile on her face and a pleasant personality. I was only a student nurse when I met her. Imagine my horror when two years later I heard she took her own life.

This is the sad reality faced by many professionals. But as an RN, I am crying out for help for myself and my colleagues. I have lost a lot due to depression and anxiety. Thank God that by his grace,  thoughts of suicide never crossed my mind. Not all are so lucky.

It seems as of late, the cries of everyone in Trinidad and Tobago are falling on deaf ears. May God help us all. And may God help all the nurses out there who are in desperate need of help. 

- Latoya