You broke me.

Dear you,
              I have missed you for so long. I imagined what it would be like to see you again. What fun we would have and all the things we would do.

I can't even find the right words to express my feelings. You ripped my heart apart.

I know we have been separated for  many years. I know we have both experienced things differently in our lives that has changed us.

There were many times on the phone you made me feel insignificant. You made me feel like you hated me. But I pushed passed the feeling.

There was one time you told me I would be less trouble if I died. I forgave you, even though you never apologized.

You came to my home, our home. You embarrassed and belittled me. You said I was stupid and spoilt. You called me a brat.

I can see clearly now that you can not begin to understand what I go through everyday. You have no idea the battles I fight within my own self. You have no idea the progress I have made. You don't know because you weren't here.

I believe you want what's best for me. To see me happy and thriving. I appreciate that. But there is a certain way to speak to a human. I have feelings and emotions. They ARE valid. I am NOT too sensitive, I am not too emotional. I am an individual who is trying her best to beat an invisible disease.

Don't yell at me out of your own frustration and lack of understanding. Don't use obscene language Infront of me. I am a true child of God. I don't drink alcohol and engage in ungodly behavior.

So though I love you, I want you to know you broke my heart but you fixed my vision. Loved ones aren't supposed to make you feel stressed out and anxious when they are around. There should be genuine love and happiness.

I have been faking a smile since that day you almost broke down my door. I bet you didn't even notice. I was so happy and relieved when you were leaving. Then I remembered you will come again.

I wish you every happiness and I want to love you, but you treat me as if you hate me. What have I done to deserve this?

I am not a child. So when next you decide to visit I will be accommodating and considerate. But I simply ask that you have respect for me and the place where I live.

Don't yell at me, I am not a child and I am certainly not your child. Respect my boundaries. I am severely introverted and I enjoy being alone it's no offense to anyone I just enjoy peace and quiet.
August 29th 2019, you broke my heart, you broke me.

I will pray for you and I will pray that God gives you the understanding to know that everything happens for a reason.  Words are a weapon, a POWERFUL weapon that can damage a person just as bad as a gunshot wound.

I will keep praying for change. I still love you. Most importantly, I forgive you.


-Latoya.